I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
