Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
