so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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