Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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