I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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