WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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