Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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