I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We got so high we made milksteak
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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