i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
