Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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