U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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