McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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