I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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