Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You made out with two different species that night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize