I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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