I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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