he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
