I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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