the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
