I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
