i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
