Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
