She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
