you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
