the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
