so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
this is an emotional support booty call
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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