Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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