Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
