Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
