I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think people are normalizing furries
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
