Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
