i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
