so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
