i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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