why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
