We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
