didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
