At least make sure they are 18
Why
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
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