After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Randomize
