He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
