I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize