I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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