Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
