I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
