I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
