Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
