Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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