I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
