margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
