He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize