Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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