Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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