Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
