he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
