Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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