you will always have a special place in my vag
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
