So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
