Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
