Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize