She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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