And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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