The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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