community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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